Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Puzzle

Today it has been one week since our sweet baby Nolan entered and left this world. It has not been an easy week. Everyone has commented on how strong we are but, we are not really strong. It's so very hard, and I am so sad that I can't hold my little boy and love him the way I want to, but I do have a peace that I would not have thought possible knowing that he is in good hands (God's hands), and I will see him again one day and that his short life can make a difference. Troy and I have said time and again that we could not have done this without God in our lives. He is our strength! "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2

I have done a lot of reflection on how all of this played out. I said in my first post that I know God has a plan for us. We may not be able to see the big picture, but I can definitely see the pieces of the puzzle being put in place. I think back on how there have been so many people over the past week and the weeks and months leading up to Nolan's birth that have played an important role in our lives. I believe that God put each one of them here for a special purpose in His plan for our lives. No matter how big or small each of them may feel that their part was, it was significant! From family and friends, our church family to doctors, nurses, other medical staff and even strangers - each one is a piece of the puzzle and God used them to continue unfolding his plan for our family. Each one was perfectly shaped by Him to fit into the puzzle that is His plan. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I know that God has perfect timing. He knew that this journey was not something we could have handled six years ago before we found a wonderful church home and drew closer to Him. He knew this is not something we could have handled before our entire family had become Christians. He knew that this is not something we could have handled when our girls were younger. But really God's plan goes back to before we were even born. Every situation, every person we encounter in our life here on earth is a part of God's plan. "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

Words cannot begin to express our gratitude for all of your prayers and for the love and care that has been shown to us and continues to be poured out. Please know that we truly appreciate all that has been done for us and that you are all a part of God's plan. Our hope is that Nolan's life can make a difference in your life and in that of people for many years to come. We pray that you know our savior, Jesus Christ, so that you will get to meet our little boy in heaven one day. ". . . if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

9 comments:

Melissa said...

Your words are so touching....and heartbreaking!! Your tremendous faith in God is an inspiration to all!!!
By the way--- Nolan is absolutely precious and I pray that you and your family will soon find some peace in knowing that you will hold him in your arms again one day!!

mrsrubly said...

i am praying for you and your sweet family. i am sending my condolences. i have no other words to say other than i am so sorry. your nolan is precious, handsome lil one. i pray for strength for your family for the moments hours days months and years to come.

Cathy said...

Please know that we will continue to offer your family up in prayer.

Anonymous said...

Yesterday was beautiful in every way!

I too feel you and Troy are an inspiration! You may not feel strong right now but you are a strong, faith-filled woman and I look up to you in so many ways. I can't begin to imagine the pain you must feel longing to hold that sweet boy in your arms. My heart aches for you.

Nikki

Anonymous said...

I have prayed for your family every day since I learned of Nolan and I will continue to pray for each of you, as each of us can use a little help every day. Please know that attending Nolan's celebration of life and seeing your family has given me hope and inspiration in helping my family find the faith we desperately need. I am truly in awe of the love and support that your family has for each other and the strength that radiates from that. Your family has been the neon arrow that is pointing me in the right direction to lead mine. I thank you for that and may God continue to bless all of you.

Anonymous said...

What an amazing testimony. You all have encouraged someone to find the faith they desperately need. A lost lamb, being reclaimed to the kingdom of God. Just like the story you shared on your blog earlier.
May your family continue to minister, and be a beacon for the Lord. Even though your heart is heavy and your arms ache for that precious little boy, I know that you are rejoicing like the rest of us, that someone else is seeking the love of Jesus Christ and wanting to find that closeness for themselves that they see radiating thru you!

AS for the person who posted and is looking for Faith. May you continue on that wonderful journey. I pray that you find a wonderful church home and are blessed beyond measure as you grow in Jesus Christ.

~Becky

Anonymous said...

Karen, I sit here this morning and I cannot get you off my mind. I have a heavy heart for you as a mother losing your child no one can feel your pain like you do. I know it is very hard for you and the family. Your faith always have inspired me and my family. We will never forget you inviting us to a wonderful church and we loved it so much. We have not found a church here where we live that is anything like FOTW. I know you are surrounded by strong christian families and friends. I know that Nolan a special baby because all your family is, and I know the lord will take care of him until one special day when you meet again. We love all of you.

Love your friend always,
Lisa R.

Anonymous said...

I found this poem the other day and it made me think of sweet Nolan playing in Heaven. You created him and he will always be with you. I’m not sure who wrote it but it’s beautiful.

Today I saw you crying
I sent you lots of love
I hope that you can feel it
I'm here just up above

Today I jumped from cloud to cloud
And flew across the sky
And God told me all about you
And why you often cry

He told me that you were special
And your love for me is so deep
He told me that one day I'll meet you here
And in your arms I'll leap

I met a nice man the other day
He sat me on his knee
He told me that he knew you, Mom
And do you know what else he told me?

He told me all about you
About your pretty face
About your kindness, love and joy
About your sweet grace

I told that man I knew you
Cause we were once so close
I grew in your belly, Mommy
Just beneath your clothes

I told that man you talked to me
And prayed for me each night
And how I felt your love right there
And how you would hug me tight

No, you're not a stranger, Mom
Although we're now apart
It's really not that far, Mommy
I know I'm in your heart

I can't wait to see you, Mommy
God says you'll be here soon
Until then, I'm with you
And I love you to the moon

Anonymous said...

I really needed the words you wrote in this post. I found your sight by accident but I sure needed what you said. We lost our grandson on Monday. His service was on Wednesday. I know all the things you sai9d, but I needed them alot right now. Thanks for beeing so uplifting to me right now. You have even more pain as the Mom, but I thank you.